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Confidence Issue: Stephanie Bellamy – Personal Stylist NZ & UK

Who is Stephanie Bellamy?  

A personal stylist on the wrong side of her 20’s, she lives in Auckland and works between the UK and New Zealand. She likes to think she’s got her shit together, she loves a wine and a good laugh.

What made you want to be involved in the fashion world?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been fashion and clothing obsessed. I used to knit and sew with my nana when I was little – making clothes for myself and my Barbies. I was never sure exactly what I wanted to do within the fashion realm, as it is so vast, but I knew after my first year at university that I was on the right path towards finding my dream job.

Did having confidence in yourself play a big role in becoming a successful international personal stylist?

Hugely, I only completed my personal styling diploma just over a year ago and I didn’t feel “ready” to dive straight into a business, however, I knew that I was as ready as I will ever be. Everytime I felt an ounce of self-doubt, I would remember back to university, we had Karen Walker do a Q&A with us, she said that if you want to be a designer, you have to call yourself a designer from day 1. I applied this level of confidence and self-assertiveness to starting my business, then took the bull by the horns and haven’t looked back.

What does confidence mean to you and how do you approach this in your everyday life?

Confidence to me, is having a solid understanding of who you are; why you do the things you do, your values, your priorities, your strengths and weaknesses, knowing your limits and then allowing yourself to make mistakes and grow from that. If we have a solid grasp on who we are, then no one else can tell us any different. I think that is the foundation of obtaining self-worth and confidence.

What empowers you as a woman? 

My job, being a personal stylist is so empowering in itself – the essence of my brand is not superficial, yes I can help my clients to build an incredible wardrobe, but what is at the forefront of my goals with each client is to help them to feel fabulous and to discover a whole new level of confidence for themselves.

What knocks your confidence down and how do you deal with that? 

We all have invalidating experiences throughout life, some that knock us around endlessly. Over time and many, many invalidating experiences I have finally learnt that every time we have a negative experience we can take something away from it. For me, if I analyse the way in which I dealt with the experience I will always know how to better deal with it next time – and it’s always paid off!

How has confidence helped you with to step out of your comfort zone, especially considering you work between NZ and the UK? 

If I didn’t feel confident and secure within myself, I would never have been able to establish my business across both NZ and the UK. Knowing that I’m capable, I’m skilled, I’m passionate and I’m determined drove the confidence within that helped me get to where I am today and where I want to be tomorrow.

What advice would you give our customers about self confidence and believing in themselves, embracing themselves for who they really are?

Don’t change yourself to fit the mould, discover yourself and embrace it. Surround yourself with like minded people that you enjoy being around, stop wasting energy on negative people that bring you down or emotionally drain you. Always strive to be the best possible version of you.

What piece of clothing makes you feel confident to take on the world? 

A leather jacket – something about it says “move out of the way, bad ass coming through” plus the versatility and durability of a leather jacket totally validates the cost of one!

Do you think your style and the way you dress has evolved as you have become more confident within yourself?

Without a doubt! That’s why I love my job and it’s exactly why I do what I do.

What women inspire you? 

All mothers inspire me, all business women inspire me, any woman that has gone through a difficult period in her life and has come out the other side stronger inspires me. Women who empower other women inspire me.

What’s your favourite piece out of The Borrowed Collective and why?

The Associates Mini dress, it’s super versatile and fits like a glove! I recently featured this dress in a blog post where I talk about how to best style a summery dress in the colder months.

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Confidence Issue: Simone Anderson – Journey To Health

We’ve been following Simone since she first appeared on the Tyra Banks Show. Her journey has inspired so many women in New Zealand and globally. This week we interview Simone on what makes her so confident and how we can all inject a little bit more self love into our lives.

Who is Simone Anderson?

I truly am your every day kiwi chick, just wanting to make a difference in the world. I began quite selfishly sharing my 92kg weight loss journey online to keep myself accountable. Before long my social pages grew quite a large following (now reaching nearly 600,000 people) and have now become my full time job. I help inspire others daily by being raw and truthful, sharing everything from workouts, beauty routines to recipes and outfit posts. Showing people that a simple mindset change can lead you to a live you only dreamed of.

What made you want to begin your journey to health?

It was a huge build of lots of tiny things, some as simple as being to tired to bring the bin up the driveway that made me realise I was really only living a half life and something had to change. I go into far my detail about my switch and what lead to me wanting to want changes in my book “Journey to Health”

Did having confidence in yourself play a big role in initially sharing your journey online?

More than anything! From the get go this confidence made me believe in myself and truly know I was capable of anything I set my mind to.

What does confidence mean to you and how do you approach this in your everyday life?

For me confidence is knowing what I believe in, knowing what I stand for and knowing what message I have to share. Its realising that no matter what anyone else thinks or says that I know I am making even a small difference in this world!

What empowers you as a woman?

For me I feel empowered when I realise that I don’t have to live anyone else’s life or follow anyone else’s rules for how they wish me to life. This is my life and realising I have to power to do and achieve what ever I set my mind to is empowering.

What knocks your confidence down and how do you deal with that?

I used to find that trolls and negative comments would really knock my confidence, I would find myself thinking and often crying about these comments or words for days. Then I had a good long think about it and realised that these people must be really struggling in themselves to find the need to be nasty to someone they don’t know online. I then started to feel sorry for these people and always meet their negative comments with kind words – kindness ALWAYS wins.

After your last surgery you had a lot of trolls that you chose to screencap and share with your followers, exposing not only the people who sent you these messages but also the awful comments you sometimes receive. Do you have any advice on how to deal with negative comments and not let it effect you?

Same as above!

What advice would you give our customers about self confidence and believing in themselves, embracing themselves for who they really are?

That difference and uniqueness is what makes this world amazing, the minute we stop trying to be like everyone else and embrace ourselves “flaws” and all is the minute we realise how truly amazing we really are.

What piece of clothing makes you feel confident to take on the world?

A matching set of bra and undies always makes me feel super sexy and empowered. I love that no one else can see it, so its purely for me! How bloody cool is that!

Do you think your style and the way you dress has evolved as you have become more confident within yourself?

I have always loved fashion, clothes and accessories. I just have more options to play with and definitely have more styles that suit me so I guess this does make you more confident. I love being able to walk into any shop and know I will fit / find something that will suit me. Before I literally had one shop in Auckland I could go to!

What women inspire you?

There are so many I don’t even know where to begin. But I love woman killing it in my own backyard, I love supporting kiwi woman smashing their dreams! Girls like Riley from Healthchick101, Zoe from blessed In Doubles, Makaia Carr, Julia and Libby, Jessica Quinn & Donielle Brooke just to name a few – these ladies all shine in their own unique way and all make the world a better place! Sharing there experiences and highs and lows with the world, its truly humbling seeing them smashing their goals and dreams!

What’s your favourite piece out of The Borrowed Collective and why?

The Tower of Power. Its sexy, beautiful and feminine!

 

 

Rent Simone’s pants in black here

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Confidence Issue: Sarah Walsh – Key To Life Trust

Mental illness is something that has touched all of us. Either personally or through someone we love. Sarah Walsh is an incredible woman raising money for the Key To Life Trust raising awareness for mental health and suicide. We interviewed her this week in our confidence issue to hear a little more about her inspiring journey.

Who is Sarah Walsh? 

I’m still trying to find out! I’m a 24 year old, who lives in Wellington and am working my dream job at MediaWorks. Riding the wave of ups and downs my life brings me with my cute cat Roxy and my amazing family!

What made you want to be involved with the Key To Life Charitable Trust??

It was my mum who told me about Key to Life Charitable Trust after sharing a video on Facebook with Mike King campaigning for mental health awareness and suicide prevention and I thought, finally! Someone is speaking out in New Zealand and actively working towards a goal – I have to be involved in this!!

After being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in 2016, for so long I had no one to look to for hope, I felt like no one else understood and that no one was talking about it, I felt like an outsider and alone in my battle. After meeting a lot of other people involved with KTL I felt like I had an instant connection with them and that I had to spread the message of love, hope and awareness and most importantly a change in attitude.

What does confidence mean to you and how do you approach this in your everyday life?

I feel that confidence can be a fickle thing, at the end of the day you must rely on yourself for it as confidence should come from within. With social media it’s tough as I can often fall into the trap of looking for a validation boost, along with many others! I do struggle with self-esteem a lot but lately I’ve learned to focus on MY wins, instead of what I don’t have. Own what you do! Celebrate your wins!   

What empowers you as a woman? 

I like to challenge society’s mind set, I see that we have so much potential and so much more to achieve and I’m motivated to get there.  

What knocks your confidence down and how do you deal with that? 

This is actually something I find quite tough! Some days I feel like it won’t take much for me to knock my confidence down and I start doubting myself and the negative chat in my head begins, it’s awful! I always let my family know how I’m feeling and a few friends for support, people that I know I can say whatever to without them judging!
I always know in a few hours my mind will move on from it – but I just hold tight everything is temporary. I also think accepting that I feel like that is really good too, because I swear my brain wants to move on to closure rather than be stuck in denial.

How has confidence helped you with being so open about mental illness and your journey? 

In all honesty, I was really fired up! I was sick of not reading anything positive or reading about bipolar disorder being described in a horrible way. I was sick of celebrities only saying a few quotes about mental health or mental illness. I was sad that there wasn’t anyone to look up to here in NZ. (Before I found out about Key To Life). If no one is going to talk about it, I better start. It is scary, I do sometimes feel as some people are looking at me differently now I am so public with my struggles; it’s taken a lot of confidence! I want others to feel that they aren’t alone and that they are never too far from someone else who has the same struggles as they do and that we are all in this together. Sometimes I’ve had to take a few deep breaths and say to myself that I can do this, because sometimes I do doubt myself and get scared of what people will think.

What advice would you give our customers about self confidence and believing in themselves, embracing themselves for who they really are?

Focus on your wins, your best assets! –Very short and simple but it works. Own it!

 

What piece of clothing makes you feel confident to take on the world? 

A dress! Much less stressful than trying to find “Jeans and a nice top”.

Do you think your style and the way you dress has evolved as you have become more confident within yourself?

Yes it sure has, I used to wear black a lot when I was younger (17, 18), black tee-shirt and black jeans. I was so self-conscious. Now I love colour! (I try and avoid black since it’s so hard to find in my wardrobe or to be honest my floordrobe..!)

 

What women inspire you? 

Zoe Lawton (New Zealander) who set up a #metoo blog to provide legal professionals and law students with a safe and neutral platform to share their experiences of sexual harassment, bullying and discrimination! She opened up the conversation and shed light on what is happening in our legal industry. How freaking awesome is that!? I am in awe of the courage she has to take on big legal firms because I would have been shaking in my boots.

What’s your favourite piece out of The Borrowed Collective and why?

The Objective Flare Mini Dress! It’s so beautiful, I’ve never worn something like this before and I felt amazing it in.

 

You can read more on Key to Life here and follow Sarah on her journey here

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Pickitfence – 27 Dresses

Ever wanted to wear 27 designer dresses without having to buy them or have them spotted bulging out of your wardrobe door when a male journalist stops by? Well you can!

I was lucky enough collaborate with the lovely team over at The Borrowed Collective and shoot a few of my favourite pieces. I also just so happened to go out for a spot of breakfast at my favourite cafe in Mt Eden and also transform into an Oscars statue shortly after, oh what a lavish life I do live.

This was my first time ever experiencing the luxury of wearing designer dresses. The biggest stand out for me was just how flattering and incredible they make your body look!!! The material is thick and sucks you in, the lengths and seams are perfectly positioned to contour your body and create a flattering silhouette (it’s insane looking in the mirror and seeing that you can continue to love donuts the way you do). Continue Reading…

Rent the Cortona Midi here & the Sofia here

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Confidence Issue: Tracey Jewel – Married At First Sight Australia

If you were anything like us, your weekday nights revolved around being glued to the TV watching MAFS – no doubt yelling at Davina and Dean. This week we interview the beautiful Tracey Jewel on how she combats staying true to herself, cyber bullies and knowing your self worth. 

Who is Tracey Jewel? 

I think I’m a lot of different roles which is why women probably related to me on MAFS! I’m a mum, a writer, a gym junkie, A tanorexic lol, a good friend, a self development obsessor, a bit of a nerd, an ex wife x2, a partner, a domestic violence survivor and a charity ambassador.

I feel like I’ve experienced a lot in my life to date and there’s power in sharing your voice with others in the hope to make a positive impact in the world.

What made you want to be involved in MAFS?

I was giving up hope in my second happily ever after. My ex husband moved and remarried quickly and with a few failed relationships under my belt I thought why not hand my love life over to the experts!

Did having confidence in yourself play a big role in getting involved in reality TV and being an author?

You need to have a strong sense of who you are to do it that’s for sure. It makes you stronger and a massive exponential growth curve. I want to be the best person I can be and doing tv and writing books definitely pushes me to grow and develop as a person.

What does confidence mean to you and how do you approach this in your everyday life?

Confidence comes down to intention. I’m not perfect and I make mistakes but underneath it all I’m a good person. I believe in the best in myself and others and this is where my inner confidence comes from, knowing myself and owning my truth.

I also think taking care of yourself on the outside helps inner confidence as well. I’m not shy about a bit of Botox, getting my hair and nails done and I love to dress up as well as keeping fit.

What empowers you as a woman? 

For me as cheesy as this sounds it’s empowering others. If I’m making a positive difference, I feel empowered. When you gossip and bring others down it’s disempowering. You’re giving your power away when you engage in negative talk. I discuss this in my book This Goddess Means Business which is all about minding your own business first and foremost – that’s empowerment

What knocks your confidence down and how do you deal with that? 

It’s hard not to be affected sometimes of other people’s opinions of you – especially cyber bullying and trolling. A natural reaction is going into defensive, attaching or just shutting down. When this happens I just need to come back to me, get grounded and own my own truth.

How has confidence helped you with to step out of your comfort zone? 

I start with the end in mind. I have a clear vision for my life and I keep focused on the end game when I’m not feeling the best. Especially with nerves!

What advice would you give our customers about self confidence and believing in themselves, embracing themselves for who they really are?

It’s ok to be exactly who you are.. and when you own this you are giving power to those around you to be themselves too. It’s a ripple effect! And confidence grows from there. Find your tribe.

What piece of clothing makes you feel confident to take on the world? 

I love a great pencil skirt – it makes me feel feminine and confident and is perfect for a day of boardroom meetings or a dinner date!

Do you think your style and the way you dress has evolved as you have become more confident within yourself?

Yes absolutely! In my 20s I dressed very frumpy and conservatively. Now I have no problem showing a bit of boob and curves! I totally own my body and my look now.

What women inspire you? 

Oprah of course! I look up to all kinds of women especially Malala and Rosie Batty as well as Gabrielle Bernstein and Marie Forleo. It’s empowering these women who are able to share their personal stories to better the world.

What’s your favourite piece out of The Borrowed Collective and why?

I love this Mattea Slip Dress! A little bit skin and boob what a sexy dress to dress up in for a special event!

You can join us (and have a little treat from The Borrowed Collective in your goodie bag) at Traceys new book launch in June in AucklandWellington or Christchurch.

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Confidence Issue: Jaspreet Bola – Pickitfence

Pickitfence is a NZ cool girl blog that if you haven’t heard of, you need to go stalking ASAP. As soon as we saw her showing her latest purchases in one of her Insta Stories we were HOOKED. Law student by day, fashion stalker by night – this down to earth chick has everything covered from sorting your work wear outfit, to giving you inspiration to restyle that pretty dress as a kick ass top and pant combo. More than anything Jas makes us rethink things and change our perspective – not just on the different ways to wear black pants. 

Who is Pickitfence? 

Pickitfence is not so much a person, as it is a concept (that I made up). The name of my blog Pickitfence comes from my childhood home that always had a picket fence and has always been a place of comfort, safety and is symbolic of my happy place. I want my readers to take on the Pickitfence mentality and that is to always strive to reach your happy place, your goals, or whatever it maybe that makes you happy.

What made you want to be involved in law with the fashion world on the side?

I travelled to India when I was about 5 years old and immediately I knew I lived a very privileged life back home in New Zealand. From that point on I always wanted to help people. My law degree is so broad and I’m really starting to learn all the different things I can do with it, it’s really quite exciting. Fashion is again heavily intertwined with my upbringing. My Nan is a seamstress and I’ve been designing and styling clothes all my life. My blog has allowed me to take my love of fashion and use it to inspire confidence within others, just another way I hope I can help people.

Did having confidence in yourself play a big role in becoming a successful fashion blogger?

It definitely took an initial bit of confidence to kick off my blog and just have the courage to bite the bullet and put my creativity out into the world. But ultimately, the blogging journey itself has gradually enhanced my confidence. I have met so many new people, I have collaborated with amazing brands and gained a wealth of fashion knowledge, all of which has been incredibly valuable in improving my self-confidence. I do not believe that we have to start off as perfectly confident people, I think we just have to take the first step and naturally we just evolve and get better, and learn to perfect our craft and in turn that confidence will come.

What does confidence mean to you and how do you approach this in your everyday life?

I have learnt the hard way just how important confidence is because I’m not a naturally confident person. I have missed a lot of opportunities by simply not being confident enough. But if you just start saying yes to things and dive in and take risks, I do believe they pay off and the more opportunities you say yes to and the more risks you take, confidence organically grows. Whether it’s in fashion, where it takes a certain level of confidence to pull off a querky outfit, or at law school where speaking up is imperative to being successful, the more I say yes to things and experience new things, my confidence has just grown. It’s about creating this positive-confidence-enchancing-cycle for yourself.

What empowers you as a woman? 

Other successful women. It’s absolutely fundamental that we as woman recognise that if another female is successful, that does not mean that there is less for us. There is plenty to go around and room for us all, and it’s important to view the success of our fellow sisters as motivating and inspiring factors. Having this perspective has allowed me to be empowered by all the amazing woman around me.

What knocks your confidence down and how do you deal with that? 

As someone who is quite a perfectionist, rejection is something that really knocks down my confidence. I always strive to put my best foot forward and when this is not good enough, it’s quite the blow. To overcome this I always reflect on the situation and analyse what I could have done better and how I can improve that for the future. We are all human and being self aware and recognising my weaknesses allows me to get over the situation.

What advice would you give our customers about self confidence and believing in themselves, embracing themselves for who they really are?

I believe that the closer we get to the true essence of who we are, the more confident and happy we will be. I don’t think this is by any means easy, but having new experiences whether that’s meeting new people, a new job or travel is imperative to this self growth and recognition. It is through these experiences we come to realise who we truly are, what we want from life and what our goals are. Confidence is both a starting point and an element that is intertwined throughout this self-evolving process. I think age is also a factor, we may think we know it all right now but with age comes confidence too, so don’t rush the process.

What piece of clothing makes you feel confident to take on the world? 

A blazer! It’s definitely having its trend moment right now, but I’ve been wearing blazers since high school (and no we did not have a uniform). A good blazer can take you anywhere, and can flatter any and every body shape. It’s a staple and makes me feel my best.

 Do you think your style and the way you dress has evolved as you have become more confident within yourself?

Absolutely. Fashion was always a way for me to feel beautiful and more confident. As my confidence has grown I have been open to so many more silhouettes I may not have tried earlier on. For example, instead of only wearing what is conventionally considered flattering for my body shape, I am now confident enough to just wear what ever I love the look and feel of!

What women inspire you? 

Aimee Song from the blog Song of Style is a huge inspiration for me. She is not perfect but she is unapologetically herself and that makes her perfect to me. I have followed her for over six years now and I have seen her evolve from a fashion icon into an activist in her own right and I really respect that about her.

What is your favourite piece out of The Borrowed Collective and why?

My favourite piece from The Borrowed Collective is the Talulah Immediacy Maxi in blood orange, it’s a super flattering cut and the colour would pop on any skin tone. I also love the Rebecca Vallance Midi Dress – wow that is one stunning number!

You can find the gorgeous Jas at Pickitfence on her Instagram or on Youtube! xx